MARVELLING at the wisdom of #Yoga and the #healingpowers of our body thanks to #FierceGrace

I am in my eighth year of hot Yoga. And I have been doing it for sure twice a week on average. Often more, once even the 30-day challenge. And I can guarantee that I always come out feeling better than when I walk into the hot studio in Queens Crescent. I’ve tried the one in the City and Primrose Hill, besides the one in Berlin, but who cares what the surroundings are. What matters is the heat, the wisdom of the postures and the style of the trainer that is hopefully agreeable to your own nature.

Tonight I felt as rotten as possible. But it was maybe the Italian white-haired lady in the bus who asked about my wonderful walking sticks and suggested that I should invoke my ‘healing energies’. Or else it was the oodles of yawns that got rid of stress that had settled down in my lungs. Or maybe it was simply time for me to heal and come closer to the promise of this dream of two years ago: at the end of the summer you will be pain free. Which summer, I keep wondering?

Well, I was FAR from pain free during today’s class. In fact, I was ‘marvelling’ at the way in which my body could make itself known to me through sensations that can only be called painful. But it is REPAIRING itself! Why should it not hurt, when the whole left leg has to turn itself more and more towards its inside? Hip, thigh, knee, ankle and foot. Joints, muscles, tendons and ligaments. Everything move, all together, please!  (more…)

Opening Hips and Shoulders with Fierce Grace – to heal the trauma of my accident

It was not a very professional transition from the one and only Bikram class with 26 postures to five different classes with lots of new postures in a number of variations.

Re-branding Bikram into Fierce Grace meant teaching trainers and students.

For my dislocated hip and its effects on the rest of my body, it was god sent despite all the hiccups: the Bikram postures could have turned me into a good footballer. Fierce Grace might make a dancer out of me… :)

In other words: there’s a lot more to stretch in the hip area that has never been stretched before so that the left hip resembles the right one! As a result, I can’t walk without sticks. But I am convinced that this, too, will pass and that I will come out with a healed hip. The question is when!

10 days ago, the Yoga class inspired me to do for myself what I have done for so many victims of white collar crimes: write a one-page summary.  (more…)

2013 in review – back to the Future of a Year of Breakthroughs, hopefully!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,200 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 37 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

 

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HOW TO Turn Pain into Pleasure? With YogaBabies!

In my recent Yoga practice I have had major highs, feeling like a million Bradburys, thinking that only your body can let you feel such pinnacles of pleasure.

However, I have also felt more acute pains during my practice than before.

And when I was moaning, whining and complaining about this to my inner monitor, this lovely trainer Kate Comer seems to have sensed it. For she came during one of the exercises and stretched my back. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Why? Because, it was one of these rare occasions where somebody could relate to my experience and acknowledge it in a soothing way… She also acknowledged this ‘opportunity for letting things come up and go’ when closing the session. It’s ‘nice’ to feel acknowledged, for it’s tough to live with the presence of pain for 40 years, I can assure you.

But when I saw Kate again yesterday, she suggested to call it ‘sensation’ – i.e. take the ‘sting’ out of ‘pain’. She has acquired this experience through Yoga and the birth of her own two babies. Hence she is now passing her knowledge on by teaching classes for Yoga Babies.

I just wish that not only women learned about giving birth with more awareness but also men and women when they make love. Conscious conception is an art never taught in the West. In the East, however, we know of not only the Art of Tantra but also the Tao of Sex!

What is it with this Western male analytical mind that domineered for two millennia? Well, it’s just called evolution of humanity and planet in one universe. Remember: Yoga means unity, unison, oneness…

And in the Western mindset of mathematics I discovered this in terms of time, space and measuring. But that’s going to be another blog post.

STARTING a new 7-year-Cycle of re-locating a dis-located hip

Schematic Examples of CNS Structural Changes i...

Schematic Examples of CNS Structural Changes in chronic pain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Emma is one of the senior teachers who has accompanied my odyssey since I started Bikram Yoga in 2005. Yesterday I asked her to watch my ‘general mess’, as I’m soo emotional about going to Geneva to celebrate 50 years of Computing @ CERN – where the web was born – my then employer who sent me to Lawrence Radiation Lab. But on the way, the driver, a physicist friend of mine, fell asleep and we fell 24 feet down the motorway…

Taking stock must take place on a number of levels:

The dislocated hip:

  • it feels as if the fine re-location keeps going on, and I only noticed that since about a year;
  • it was only through Bikram Yoga that I became aware of how my body had accommodated for the dislocation;
  • only through Bikram have I experienced the re-alignment that had become necessary and that includes both knees badly!

Pain: 

  • a LOT better, but still often enough bad enough, when every step and both hips hurt in bed;
  • who would have thought that my right arm and shoulder need to hurt these days – to realign everything else,  while relocating my left hip?

Physical well-being:

  • TERRIFIC: instead of ageing, I at least stopped the process, if I haven’t reversed it, counting the number of grey hair.

Mental well-being:

  • those 90 minutes of moving meditation are priceless, in terms of allowing ‘stuff’ to come up and let go.

All in all, I can only count my blessings. But: do I kid myself, maybe? Is there more emotional pain that is waiting to be released? After all, my life has been far from easy with 40 years of chronic pain. But who said it would be a rose garden?

Still. There are soo many people whose lives are soo much harder… I shall keep enjoying mine as much as I possibly can!

Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet on Pain – for deep spiritual empowerment

I remember discovering and loving The Prophet when I lived in Geneva and more of Kahlil Gibran‘s writings when I spent time in New York.

Now I was reminded about his words on pain, as I anticipate visiting an amazing healer this week:

And a woman spoke, saying, “Tell us of Pain.”
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burns your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

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Published in: on January 14, 2013 at 2:41 pm  Comments (7)  
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40 Years of chronic pain since an accident that I was lucky to survive

Last year I had that dream in which I was told that I would become pain free “probably by the end of the summer”. Unfortunately, that has not happened yet. In fact, it seemed as if the various ‘dodgy areas’ took pleasure in becoming particularly delicate.

But fortunately, the pains change in terms of places and intensity, also depending on how much walking I do of course.

However, regular Bikram sessions keep improving all the bits and pieces: knees, arms, shoulders and, above all, the hip joint.

I cannot but think over these 40 years as a strange kind of waking up:

  • I thought that my then employer CERN had my interest at heart
  • I thought that doctors knew what they were talking about
  • I thought that being self-employed is as straight forward an option as being employed.

Instead, I have come to appreciate huge differences not only between employment and self-employment, but also between ‘being taken care of’ by doctors and looking after one’s own health.

In fact, moving from Geneva, Switzerland, to UK London taught me the notion that the State looks after you ‘from the cradle to the grave’.

Well, it clearly ain’t so:

  1. the State claimed our men to fight wars
  2. then it claimed our women to rebuild what was left
  3. now they are claiming our children for sex, money or both.

(more…)

Towards Christmas 2012 and the New 2013: personal is professional and political

12 12 10 ChristmasBikram Yoga continues to be at the core of my activities. But the stillness while the heart is beating in between postures is not enough to make sense of the world I see from my experiences.

I need more time for reflection and expression of thoughts and feelings, as Christmas is approaching. What a blessing that the web offers us everything we’d ever might have wished to find in a library – right now, right in my laptop.

There is a brilliant 2-minute history of our planet, mankind and where we’re at on this video. And a remarkable Shift Happens about where technology may take us…

(more…)

Miraculous healing from the inside out, bone to the skin: first spine, then muscles

In Search of the Miraculous (album)

 

Thanks to utter commitment and devoted perseverance, I’m getting there: my left leg is improving from day to day, staircase to staircase and step to step.

 

When the heat is getting too tough, I’m now stretching it in Japanese seating style or other little ways encouraging it to become as ‘good’ as the right leg instead of exerting myself too much.

 

In the meantime I keep being amused at Emma’s formulation: “if your knees are not thrilled with this position”… No, my left knee is definitely not thrilled. BUT it is improving!!! In a number of different positions I notice how it is changing – always in the positive direction!

 

And you wouldn’t believe how much I can lift my legs now when I’m lying on my tummy. That says something about my ‘sleepy’ muscles in the back and how they’ve been waking up since April 2005!

 

It is truly amazing how my various improvements began with neck, lower back, spine, shoulders and only now extend to the outer muscles of the left leg. I feel the muscular connections with the knee, while my left bum is still very different from the right one.

 

And while Herr Lorenz Staempfli might feel good about having saved CERN’s insurance company from paying compensation to me, I shall keep going to the ‘torture room’, knowing I spend 90 minutes in a really worthwhile way, albeit tough, difficult and challenging!

 

Lack of money doesn’t hurt as much as physical pain, whether in the hip, back, knee or elsewhere in the body… I just wonder how long it will take for my software inventions to be heard, seen and used… Money would have enabled me to employ programmers. But it’s obviously meant to come in other mysterious, if not miraculous ways…

 

 

The Battle is long, the Struggle is Hard, while the Fight is Good…

Bikram Yoga - with Bikram Choudhury
Bikram Yoga – with Bikram Choudhury (Photo credit: tiarescott)

These were my thoughts today, when I felt the room was too hot for me again to do much. But I can always sit in Japanese style to exercise my left knee and leg as a whole.

The battle of ending 39 years of chronic pain with 7 years of struggles during Bikram practice is a fight that, fortunately, is worth fighting.

A friend said that she is addicted to the sweat. But I am addicted to the ‘squeaky clean’ feeling afterwards and the fact that I nearly always feel much better than when I came.

What I find rather ‘whimsical’ is the parallel between my inner Bikram battle / struggle / fight and my outer experiences and observations:

  • having heard about battles of victims of white collar crimes since 1998 when they came to meetings I organised in the House of Lords
  • exposing struggles of parents whose children were snatched
  • fighting the good fight for justice, human rights and sanity in a world that seems to be there mainly so that we realise the difference between reality and ‘maya’ or illusion.

The other day I read one person’s bio who said that the purpose of life was ‘enlightenment’.

I guess, for me it is life long learning. For it seems that there is always more to learn: about Self, people, ideas and… software!

But will the world become less painful once I am painfree???

And will I have reasons to celebrate my software innovations being recognised and appreciated???

Published in: on September 24, 2012 at 9:51 pm  Leave a Comment  
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