#GoFGYourself @FierceGraceYoga From Bikram to FierceGrace: starting my 10th Year of Hot Yoga

“Your leg has not been in the right place, ever since your hip was dislocated.” That’s how my specialised pelvis therapist Alexander Barrie described recently what I have painfully sensed, ever since 1973.

Queens Crescent has been my preferred studio, since I discovered it 10 years ago. Hence I experienced the transition from Bikram to Fierce Grace. It felt as if Bikram turned me into a good footballer, but FG into a better dancer.

Last year I had traumatic reasons for being in Berlin: I needed to flee from prosecution and imprisonment in a secret family court, after I exposed the worst of all child abuse cases. Hence I could go back to doing Bikram for nearly six months.

Here I enjoy the variety of the classes and am proud to be able to do them all, whenever I feel strong enough. At least once, hopefully twice a week. But when I started, I even did the 30-day challenge and Emma gave me an orange Yoga mat.

I shall never forgot how virtually every class ended in tears for the first six months. I got in touch with the emotional pain that surrounds my chronic physical pain:  (more…)

Published in: on May 8, 2016 at 10:31 am  Leave a Comment  
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Opening Hips and Shoulders with Fierce Grace – to heal the trauma of my accident

It was not a very professional transition from the one and only Bikram class with 26 postures to five different classes with lots of new postures in a number of variations.

Re-branding Bikram into Fierce Grace meant teaching trainers and students.

For my dislocated hip and its effects on the rest of my body, it was god sent despite all the hiccups: the Bikram postures could have turned me into a good footballer. Fierce Grace might make a dancer out of me… 🙂

In other words: there’s a lot more to stretch in the hip area that has never been stretched before so that the left hip resembles the right one! As a result, I can’t walk without sticks. But I am convinced that this, too, will pass and that I will come out with a healed hip. The question is when!

10 days ago, the Yoga class inspired me to do for myself what I have done for so many victims of white collar crimes: write a one-page summary.  (more…)

40 Years of chronic pain since an accident that I was lucky to survive

Last year I had that dream in which I was told that I would become pain free “probably by the end of the summer”. Unfortunately, that has not happened yet. In fact, it seemed as if the various ‘dodgy areas’ took pleasure in becoming particularly delicate.

But fortunately, the pains change in terms of places and intensity, also depending on how much walking I do of course.

However, regular Bikram sessions keep improving all the bits and pieces: knees, arms, shoulders and, above all, the hip joint.

I cannot but think over these 40 years as a strange kind of waking up:

  • I thought that my then employer CERN had my interest at heart
  • I thought that doctors knew what they were talking about
  • I thought that being self-employed is as straight forward an option as being employed.

Instead, I have come to appreciate huge differences not only between employment and self-employment, but also between ‘being taken care of’ by doctors and looking after one’s own health.

In fact, moving from Geneva, Switzerland, to UK London taught me the notion that the State looks after you ‘from the cradle to the grave’.

Well, it clearly ain’t so:

  1. the State claimed our men to fight wars
  2. then it claimed our women to rebuild what was left
  3. now they are claiming our children for sex, money or both.

(more…)

Miraculous healing from the inside out, bone to the skin: first spine, then muscles

In Search of the Miraculous (album)

 

Thanks to utter commitment and devoted perseverance, I’m getting there: my left leg is improving from day to day, staircase to staircase and step to step.

 

When the heat is getting too tough, I’m now stretching it in Japanese seating style or other little ways encouraging it to become as ‘good’ as the right leg instead of exerting myself too much.

 

In the meantime I keep being amused at Emma’s formulation: “if your knees are not thrilled with this position”… No, my left knee is definitely not thrilled. BUT it is improving!!! In a number of different positions I notice how it is changing – always in the positive direction!

 

And you wouldn’t believe how much I can lift my legs now when I’m lying on my tummy. That says something about my ‘sleepy’ muscles in the back and how they’ve been waking up since April 2005!

 

It is truly amazing how my various improvements began with neck, lower back, spine, shoulders and only now extend to the outer muscles of the left leg. I feel the muscular connections with the knee, while my left bum is still very different from the right one.

 

And while Herr Lorenz Staempfli might feel good about having saved CERN’s insurance company from paying compensation to me, I shall keep going to the ‘torture room’, knowing I spend 90 minutes in a really worthwhile way, albeit tough, difficult and challenging!

 

Lack of money doesn’t hurt as much as physical pain, whether in the hip, back, knee or elsewhere in the body… I just wonder how long it will take for my software inventions to be heard, seen and used… Money would have enabled me to employ programmers. But it’s obviously meant to come in other mysterious, if not miraculous ways…

 

 

Nobody knows the troubles I’ve felt…

Every Wednesday is my Yoga day in Berlin, but when I’m in London I try to go more frequently, as travel time is so much less.

Today I came out with my hip aching as if the accident was a few months ago. The miracles of re-aligning and “re-twisting” that joint into place, tendons, ligaments, muscles and all, will not cease to amaze me. It may not happen 100% by the time I die, but I sure will keep trying!!!

For neither doctors nor lawyers will EVER know how I feel and have been feeling. Nor will they “volunteer” to pay for damages or compensation. Their mindsets won’t allow it: male, mean, non-caring, non-healing, analytical rather than conceptual, restrictive rather than constructive, competitive rather than cooperative, and so it goes along the male / female divide.

Men need to connect their heads with their hearts, as they grow older, but who succeeds?

Women need to connect their hearts with their head, but how many men can stand smart women??? Either intelligent or pretty, but not both. That’s what I discovered at the time of advising physicists who became nobel prize winners later.

But I know what I know, and I trust that the Universe knows, too. Everything will come right, in its time and its logic:

  • the Universe did NOT let me find CERN as an employer, only to forget about it, once I had made my fundamental discoveries and deep insights
  • it does NOT want me to suffer for the sake of suffering; I am gaining insights and my self-knowledge is growing
  • and I am gaining strength and flexibility, as well as purposefulness and pointedness as I practise the Standing Bow…

Watch this space… i.e. where I share my passion for Bikram Yoga as the best physiotherapy there is. I wish all orthopaedic doctors did it once a week!

Published in: on February 9, 2011 at 4:33 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Learning from Defending Victims: Email to CERN’s Legal Service with a view to Compensation

To get compensation for emotional, physical or mental harm done, doesn’t seem to fit into our capitalist culture. Backed by lawyers, ask for the maximum and pay out a minimum. That’s the game of institutions, whether employers or their health insurance companies.

I have two grievances and have sent them to the European Committee for Petitions:

  1. doctors claimed to know that I would NOT suffer from my injuries in ‘old age’
  2. lawyers claimed I should have complained within 10 years of leaving CERN, my then employer who had sent me to Lawrence Radiation Lab in Berkeley on an exchange visit of two months.

(more…)

Published in: on November 18, 2010 at 11:52 am  Leave a Comment  
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