40 Years of chronic pain since an accident that I was lucky to survive

Last year I had that dream in which I was told that I would become pain free “probably by the end of the summer”. Unfortunately, that has not happened yet. In fact, it seemed as if the various ‘dodgy areas’ took pleasure in becoming particularly delicate.

But fortunately, the pains change in terms of places and intensity, also depending on how much walking I do of course.

However, regular Bikram sessions keep improving all the bits and pieces: knees, arms, shoulders and, above all, the hip joint.

I cannot but think over these 40 years as a strange kind of waking up:

  • I thought that my then employer CERN had my interest at heart
  • I thought that doctors knew what they were talking about
  • I thought that being self-employed is as straight forward an option as being employed.

Instead, I have come to appreciate huge differences not only between employment and self-employment, but also between ‘being taken care of’ by doctors and looking after one’s own health.

In fact, moving from Geneva, Switzerland, to UK London taught me the notion that the State looks after you ‘from the cradle to the grave’.

Well, it clearly ain’t so:

  1. the State claimed our men to fight wars
  2. then it claimed our women to rebuild what was left
  3. now they are claiming our children for sex, money or both.

(more…)

Advertisements

Miraculous healing from the inside out, bone to the skin: first spine, then muscles

In Search of the Miraculous (album)

 

Thanks to utter commitment and devoted perseverance, I’m getting there: my left leg is improving from day to day, staircase to staircase and step to step.

 

When the heat is getting too tough, I’m now stretching it in Japanese seating style or other little ways encouraging it to become as ‘good’ as the right leg instead of exerting myself too much.

 

In the meantime I keep being amused at Emma’s formulation: “if your knees are not thrilled with this position”… No, my left knee is definitely not thrilled. BUT it is improving!!! In a number of different positions I notice how it is changing – always in the positive direction!

 

And you wouldn’t believe how much I can lift my legs now when I’m lying on my tummy. That says something about my ‘sleepy’ muscles in the back and how they’ve been waking up since April 2005!

 

It is truly amazing how my various improvements began with neck, lower back, spine, shoulders and only now extend to the outer muscles of the left leg. I feel the muscular connections with the knee, while my left bum is still very different from the right one.

 

And while Herr Lorenz Staempfli might feel good about having saved CERN’s insurance company from paying compensation to me, I shall keep going to the ‘torture room’, knowing I spend 90 minutes in a┬áreally worthwhile way, albeit tough, difficult and challenging!

 

Lack of money doesn’t hurt as much as physical pain, whether in the hip, back, knee or elsewhere in the body… I just wonder how long it will take for my software inventions to be heard, seen and used… Money would have enabled me to employ programmers. But it’s obviously meant to come in other mysterious, if not miraculous ways…

 

 

Thoughts about physical, emotional and mental pains

I never know what thoughts and feelings come up during Bikram sessions. Initially, I used to cry for months, mainly because I was reminded of ‘ancient’ pains, of emotional, physical and financial types…

More recently, I seem to think about things that come to the surface from the ‘bottom of my mind’ thanks to the stressful ‘asanas’, i.e. body postures.

Today my grievances with CERN bubbled up. For I have to face that lawyer who claims that “it is now not possible to claim damages from either CERN or AUSTRIA”, the then health insurance company”.

Tough, eh: first the doctor(s), then the lawyer(s) who are giving me a hard time – as if they were responsible for the money that should have been paid to me…

My current doctor said it was a “swindle” when the then doctor said I would not suffer in old age from the accident. At the time, he was speculating. He could be neither right or wrong.

Now, I am PROVING that he was wrong. Americans have invented “Legal Abuse Syndrome” as a special kind of “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder“, which counts as a kind of disability!

But for now I can only think about some headlines:

  • CERN refuses basic human rights to former employee…
  • CERN doctors and lawyers make their own rules and laws…
  • CERN where the web was born has to suffer from bad web publicity…
Published in: Uncategorized on January 19, 2011 at 9:15 pm  Comments (2)  
Tags: ,

Learning from Defending Victims: Email to CERN’s Legal Service with a view to Compensation

To get compensation for emotional, physical or mental harm done, doesn’t seem to fit into our capitalist culture. Backed by lawyers, ask for the maximum and pay out a minimum. That’s the game of institutions, whether employers or their health insurance companies.

I have two grievances and have sent them to the European Committee for Petitions:

  1. doctors claimed to know that I would NOT suffer from my injuries in ‘old age’
  2. lawyers claimed I should have complained within 10 years of leaving CERN, my then employer who had sent me to Lawrence Radiation Lab in Berkeley on an exchange visit of two months.

(more…)

Published in: on November 18, 2010 at 11:52 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , , , ,