Towards ending 39 years of chronic pain while continuing the “good fight”

Dear Emma

Since you are a very senior teacher, I KNOW that you knew what you were doing when you stopped the draft under the ¬†door that gave me some cooling in the heat… You had corrected my posture before, you had opened the door for me, so I knew you cared and observed. You obviously noticed that I cried, for you wouldn’t have talked about people crying during class.

The only trouble is: I keep crying now when I remember the session… When I started Bikram in 2005, I used to cry for months, mainly at the end, and considered it ‘progress’ when it stopped. I even did the 30-day challenge, i.e. every day in a row and you gave me an orange mat as acknowledgement.

In Berlin, where I’ve been practising since 2009, the studio is cooler, so I can always do all exercises, whereas in London I need to rest depending on the heat and on the day. You can tell from the redness of my face.



Six years later and still hurting & healing…

Isn’t it funny: when I started this blog, one year after lots of crying and sweating, I thought that my hip was 95% healed.

But the left hip and knee are STILL not like the right one!!!

It’s as if first the bones got adjusted, then the muscles and now the ligaments and tendons. Each with different kinds of pains in different places and ‘bothersomeness’…

And at the same time, the mind gets changed. For you cannot but change your thinking when you keep having to decide whether to push or not to push beyond your ability to endure stress and strain in ‘strange’ ways and places…

You got to go through it yourself to appreciate it. But it does take persistence, perseverance and a deep commitment to enjoying challenges. Go for it! It’s worth it!!!


Published in: on March 31, 2011 at 5:02 pm  Comments (1)  
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