Opening Hips and Shoulders with Fierce Grace – to heal the trauma of my accident

It was not a very professional transition from the one and only Bikram class with 26 postures to five different classes with lots of new postures in a number of variations.

Re-branding Bikram into Fierce Grace meant teaching trainers and students.

For my dislocated hip and its effects on the rest of my body, it was god sent despite all the hiccups: the Bikram postures could have turned me into a good footballer. Fierce Grace might make a dancer out of me… 🙂

In other words: there’s a lot more to stretch in the hip area that has never been stretched before so that the left hip resembles the right one! As a result, I can’t walk without sticks. But I am convinced that this, too, will pass and that I will come out with a healed hip. The question is when!

10 days ago, the Yoga class inspired me to do for myself what I have done for so many victims of white collar crimes: write a one-page summary.  (more…)

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STARTING a new 7-year-Cycle of re-locating a dis-located hip

Schematic Examples of CNS Structural Changes i...

Schematic Examples of CNS Structural Changes in chronic pain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Emma is one of the senior teachers who has accompanied my odyssey since I started Bikram Yoga in 2005. Yesterday I asked her to watch my ‘general mess’, as I’m soo emotional about going to Geneva to celebrate 50 years of Computing @ CERN – where the web was born – my then employer who sent me to Lawrence Radiation Lab. But on the way, the driver, a physicist friend of mine, fell asleep and we fell 24 feet down the motorway…

Taking stock must take place on a number of levels:

The dislocated hip:

  • it feels as if the fine re-location keeps going on, and I only noticed that since about a year;
  • it was only through Bikram Yoga that I became aware of how my body had accommodated for the dislocation;
  • only through Bikram have I experienced the re-alignment that had become necessary and that includes both knees badly!

Pain: 

  • a LOT better, but still often enough bad enough, when every step and both hips hurt in bed;
  • who would have thought that my right arm and shoulder need to hurt these days – to realign everything else,  while relocating my left hip?

Physical well-being:

  • TERRIFIC: instead of ageing, I at least stopped the process, if I haven’t reversed it, counting the number of grey hair.

Mental well-being:

  • those 90 minutes of moving meditation are priceless, in terms of allowing ‘stuff’ to come up and let go.

All in all, I can only count my blessings. But: do I kid myself, maybe? Is there more emotional pain that is waiting to be released? After all, my life has been far from easy with 40 years of chronic pain. But who said it would be a rose garden?

Still. There are soo many people whose lives are soo much harder… I shall keep enjoying mine as much as I possibly can!

Major ‘software changes’ after 7 years of ‘hardware’ re-alignment

In body terms, hardware means: spine, skeleton and bones. Software means: muscles, tendons and ligaments.

My first seven years of Bikram Yoga resulted in

  • generally feeling ‘loose’ around the joints, especially the shoulders
  • strengthening the muscles around the back, so that its painful feelings of brittleness turned into some flexibility and certainly strength
  • noticing serious improvements regarding what I could do with my left leg: whether it’s getting dressed or in Yoga positions
  • observing how my left hip gradually seemed to get ‘set’ in new micro-ways, as if before it wasn’t quite in the right place.

But now I spent five weeks clearing out my mum’s household which obviously was more than just 26 postures in a hot room… Once I was so exhausted that I went to bed before 8pm and slept for 8 hours…

Now I’m back in London and noticed during my first Yoga session

  • how exhausted I am for I felt like fainting
  • how painful my left leg is so that I actually limp most of the time
  • how I can hardly make certain movements that used not to be a problem.

Hence I have decided to commit myself to coming twice a week, until I am ‘back to normal’ again. In Berlin I always could do more, for the studio is never as hot. But in London I certainly should be able to do a lot more than I did today.

Above all else I KNOW that, one fine day, the left side will be like the right side. I just hope it’ll be before I leave my body altogether! But if not, at least I’ve tried – with the ONLY method that offers me that promise!