Last year I had that dream in which I was told that I would become pain free “probably by the end of the summer”. Unfortunately, that has not happened yet. In fact, it seemed as if the various ‘dodgy areas’ took pleasure in becoming particularly delicate.
But fortunately, the pains change in terms of places and intensity, also depending on how much walking I do of course.
However, regular Bikram sessions keep improving all the bits and pieces: knees, arms, shoulders and, above all, the hip joint.
I cannot but think over these 40 years as a strange kind of waking up:
- I thought that my then employer CERN had my interest at heart
- I thought that doctors knew what they were talking about
- I thought that being self-employed is as straight forward an option as being employed.
Instead, I have come to appreciate huge differences not only between employment and self-employment, but also between ‘being taken care of’ by doctors and looking after one’s own health.
In fact, moving from Geneva, Switzerland, to UK London taught me the notion that the State looks after you ‘from the cradle to the grave’.
Well, it clearly ain’t so:
- the State claimed our men to fight wars
- then it claimed our women to rebuild what was left
- now they are claiming our children for sex, money or both.
So why should I bother to heal myself in the face of these much more terrible destinies that so many people have suffered and are enduring?
Well, we only live once and in our totally unique way. I chose to deal with problems when they came up. The accident came up and I had to deal with it: over and over again. Day and night. In Geneva and in London.
The most painful aspect is that pain can’t be made visible. So we are supposedly pretending, or it’s ‘psychological’, they say: whether it’s women in prison who are criminalised after their children were stolen by the State or whether it’s me who was the passenger when on duty trip and the driver fell asleep.
Nobody looked after me and my interests. I should have employed a lawyer. But you don’t do that to your nice employer, do you!?… You just get on with your life.
Now I’m helping other victims of white collar crimes. Now I am not surprised when I discover that a lawyer in CERN’s Legal Services sits also on the board of an insurance company… That’s presumably why the doctor at the time said I wouldn’t suffer from the accident when I’m older.
My Yoga teacher had said ‘accidents are for life’. Doctors who work for insurance companies are obviously paid to diagnose and to report differently…
But money is NOT the yardstick that measures quality of life. That is measured by pains and joys. The more the merrier!… The challenge is not to suffer – despite physical pains…
Onward to the next 40 years!
- Why I Deal With Pain Like I Do (workthedream.wordpress.com)
- Yoga breathing and relaxation techniques can ease chronic pain, expert says (vancouversun.com)
- Back pain is no Joke. (mjleone.com)